King Cake

King Cake ! 

   

If you don't know what king cake is it's actually a brioche dough filled with cinnamon and pecans and deliciousness.  Also ! A bean.  You hide a bean somewhere in the dough and whoever finds it has to host the next party.

Since primal brioche is apparently NOT a thing, I adapted this from a cinnamon roll recipe from The Urban Poser. 

  

In other news; Make yours prettier than mine m'kay ? 

Primal King Cake

adapted from The Urban Poser

cake

3 cups almond flour  
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 Tbl butter/ghee
the zest of 1 lemon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
4 Tbl honey
2 large room temp eggs
3 Tbl flax seed
filling
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup ground pecans
3  Tbl ground cinnamon
3 Tbl ground flax seed
2-3 Tbl melted butter/ghee
Preheat the oven to 340 degrees
combine almond flour, salt, baking powder, nutmeg and lemon zest in the bottom of a mixer bowl
In another bowl combine eggs, honey, coconut oil and butter
make a hole in the center of the dry mixture and slowly pour in the wet
slowly combine the two just until sticky
beat the dough on medium until it forms a cohesive solid (it will not look like a regular dough)
dump the dough onto parchment/wax paper and roll into a large rectangle
in a separate bowl, combine all the ingredients for the filling, except the butter
spread the melted butter over the dough
spread the filling onto the butter
roll it up into a log, go slow and use the parchment/wax paper to shape it so you do not tear the dough
shape into a log
place on a baking tray coated in (1 Tbl ?) melted butter
bake about 20 minutes
be happy.
and !
if you want icing (which i did not but you definitely, definitely should) whip coconut oil on high and add honey to taste. bam.

ETOUFFEE

Since I have a mother from New Orleans, Mardi Gras starts the Saturday before Fat Tuesday and is basically a steady stream of Creole food and sparkles. 

This is a particular favorite around here for good reasons.  Shrimp and one-pot meals are more than likely those reasons.  That and it's damn good.

I make this (and everything else) with an almond flour roux.  Personally, it tastes better anyway and besides the wheat it's just a pot of vegetables.  There's not even butter. 

This is the Creole seasoning I use.  It's also the only one I've ever had because, like I said, my mama's a southerner.

If I'm short on time I usually just eat this straight up, but since it's Mardi Gras I figured I'd go all out and do rice.  In the form of cauliflower.

Etouffee

Barely adapted from Paula Deen
2 lb small or medium shrimp peeled and deveined
Optional: 3 andouille sausages, cut into coins (I use these)
Dash of salt
1 10 oz can of ro'tel1/2 a can of tomato paste1 (8-ounce) can clam juice/fish stock1/2 cup minced fresh parsley leaves 1/2 cup minced green onions1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning 1/2 teaspoon black pepper1/2 teaspoon white pepper1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper3 cloves garlic, finely minced 1 cup chopped celery 1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper 1 cup chopped yellow onion 1/2 cup almond flour1/2 cup olive oil / lardMake the roux by whisking the flour into the oil in a heavy-bottomed potWhisk constantly until the mixture turns a caramel color and gives off a nutty aroma, you want it to be rather dark like the picture aboveAdd the onion, green pepper, celery, and garlic and cook over low heat about 5 minutes, until the vegetables are limpAdd the black pepper, white pepper, cayenne pepper, Cajun seasoning, green onions and parsleyAdd the clam juice, tomatoes and pasteAdd the salt, starting with 1 teaspoon then add more if neededBring the mixture to a boil, reduce the heat to low and simmer for 10 to 15 minutesAdd shrimp and andouille and stir. It will take about 3 minutes for shrimp to cook, don’t overcookServe hot 

Cauliflower Rice

Clean the cauliflower and chop into large florets

Grate the cauliflower on a cheese grater

Place in a microwave safe bowl and microwave covered for 5 minutes, or until soft

If the rice is very wet, dump it into a dish towel and squeeze out a little bit of the excess water (don't drain all of it or your rice won't be fluffy)

Also ! Grain-free king cake will be here tomorrow ! It will be epic

STENCILED T-SHIRTS

I really love this one.

This sweatshirt is my favorite (and makes you cooler by association), the quote I found on pinterest

I actually started making this back in December as Christmas presents and have since made 5 (+) more. I digress.

the point is that :
a) your're friends will be jealous
b) it's cheap
c) it's really, really easy

you need :
1. a t-shirt, sweatshirt or something to paint on
2. fabric paint (mine are Martha Stewart metallic) and a stencil brush
3. cardboard
4.  freezer paper and a print-out of your quote/picture
5. knife !

go !

Clearly I have a slight addiction to pinterest

print it ! and make sure it's black and white.  i like the fonts on dafont because they're pretty and free.

Tape a piece of freezer paper shiny-side down on top of your words.  Only cut out the negative space (the black part)
separate the papers and place the freezer paper where you want it (sticky side down) on your shirt and iron it in place
Use the stencil brush to paint in the letters, moving the brush up and down with only a little paint at a time, not left to right
Let it dry completely before tearing off the freezer paper